SQUID FRY

LACKING INSIGHT? What's cuter than kittens boxing on the Internet? Rednecks getting together and saying, "Hey, let?s develop a news site with a bunch of our semi-literate friends and make our M.O. all about hating the poor and Supervisor Jane Parker."

This seems to be the case with a new?well, website isn?t quite the right word. Let?s call it a Facebook page with long notes written by a group un-ironically calling itself County Insight , whose wannabe version of Squid is a head of iceberg toting the moniker ? Lettuce B. Free ." Heh. Get it? It?s lettuce, but with a verb after it! Snort.

CI describes its mission as ?news for the other 75 percent.? Of what, Squid isn?t sure, but headlines they say they?ll never write include: ?Section 8 Paving the Path to a Brighter Tomorrow? and "Re-Elect Jane Parker."

One writer (and Squid uses that word loosely) spends 576 words complaining about the Outback Steakhouse, including this charmer about the wait-staff: ?This hapless minimum-wage reject is texting her baby?s daddy back at her section 8 apartment on how bored she is."

Realtor Angela Savage , so quick to defend Salinas City Councilman Steve McShane ?s nobility when Squid ridiculed him for hosting a Tea Party event, is a featured writer, as is McShane. Associating with a group that makes mocking poor folks part of their mission-really, what?s more noble than that?

EXPLOSIVE VOTE? Squid always used to get picked last in playground games. So Squid understands the pain felt by those relegated to the ranks of the uncool by the Salinas City Council .

The city uses a lottery to give fireworks sales permits to 15 community organizations for fundraising; but at its June 14 meeting, it voted 6-1 to give three more orgs a shot. Sounds inclusive, right? It could have been, except the subcommittee selecting eligible organizations only included those from Districts 1, 2 and 4. The council members on said subcommittee were Sergio Sanchez and Gloria De La Rosa , who represent (wait for it...) Districts 1 and 4, respectively. ( Tony Barrera helms District 2.)

Sanchez swears they weren?t playing favorites, but Squid isn?t buying it. Neither is Brian Higgins of the Salinas Junior Chamber of Commerce Foundation, which received permits the last two years and raised over $12,000 to take needy kids shopping for winter clothing, but was left out this year. ?All the organizations who got permits deserved them,? Higgins says. ?But I have a problem with the process.?

Squid concurs. Why should a program designed for community benefit leave poor kids out in the cold-or unable to blow stuff up the safe-and-sane way?

Send Squid a tip: squid@mcweekly.com